It is easy to accept a gift when it’s a great one, but what if it has a corroding emotion attached to it about yourself?

Receiving A Blessing

I’m part of a REACH group and I've already started learning new things during the first week. Which means there will be a lot of lessons in the next 4 months.

We went out as a group to the mall to go do some grocery shopping and to get off base as a group. Since I rediscovered hammocks… I really wanted to get one.

Thanks to Nathan, he has knowledge about where to get them because he was the influence that made me wanting to purchase one for outreaches.

We went to the first store and a hammock is priced at R950. Eesh, that is more than our monthly budget of R500 pocket money. We went to the next store.

Well well well, K-Way hammocks. Should be our whole budget as well. No way. No. Way. What?!

R195. That is a steal. I’m definitely buying one.

As we stood to pay, an error appeared. It was R500 for the hammock. Not R195 as the label says. While the staff was scattering around to sort this issue out, we decided to pray.

A few moments later our prayer was answered. This blessing just happened right? Indeed it did. Thank You God!

The Intrusive Thought

The moment we turned away from the till, I said to Nathan “I should buy the other one now or should’ve added it during our process.” And we kept on walking to the rest of the group. I had a feeling they’ve fixed the system by the time we will return.

Guess what, They did. The last hammock was fixed to R500. That was quick. So that means only Nathan and I got blessed.

Only if I had reacted with my discernment/intuition while purchasing. Then someone else in the group could’ve been blessed as well.

Now I regret not following my “gut feeling”.

Learn To Be Content

During the week of our devotions, this was one of the scriptures we discussed and it keeps popping in my head when I think about the hammocks.

We need to learn to be content with the big things and the small things.

With te story I told, it goes both ways of being content.

It is easy to accept when you receive a big blessing if you haven't adapted the scarcity mindset. Having not to spend 100% of my pocket money on the hammock was a huge blessing to me. And I’m content with that.

But the thing that disturbs the contentment is the regret of not purchasing the last one to bless someone else with. The thought nagging on me takes my focus away to fully experience the joy. I need to learn to have content in the small areas. Accept and be happy that the two of us have received the blessing.

How I Overcame The Regret To Become Content

It is a process. Regret is like having a grudge on yourself as well. Grudges don’t always go onto others.

This is where forgiveness for yourself comes in.

Every time when the feeling of “Aah, I should’ve done that” comes in, remind yourself it is okay, there will be another time. Take this moment as a lesson and learn from it not to repeat the same feeling again.

The moment when you feel regret, go through the list:

Can I do something about it now?

• Yes, then go do something about it immediately before it grows. If no, then move on to the next step.

• No, then focus on making peace with the moment. Run through the process of how the moment went.

  Write about it to have clarity and to have the lesson in writing. [That is what I did just now] Forgive yourself for not what you didn’t do, or did do. Take on the lesson to heart to remember.

  It is alright if you forget and it happens again, you just didn’t learn the lesson well enough.

I am forgiving myself, working through it by writing [my process of digesting and learning], and then setting myself a goal of improvement.

I want to hone in on my discernment reaction times. Be faster and accurate. It will take some time but I have the awareness of it now. Now I can practice on getting better at it.

Because I’ve set up goal for myself and worked through the process and working towards my goal, I’ve become more content of the situation on both sides of the spectrum [small and big].

You now have seen a part of my process of how I work through to contentment and accepting a blessing.

I hope this helps you as much it did for me.

Take Care — Safe Travels — Sleep Safe

If you don’t know already, I’m currently on a missionary training program in Pretoria called REACH. I write letters like these to share the lessons I learn during my training. I like to call it Documenting for the Gravestone. In order to carry on focusing on the mission and documentation I need some support.

Thank you gor reading, and I see you in the next one.